...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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