in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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