I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That accounts for only three of the penises
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
