And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
