You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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