; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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