He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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