I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
