Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it

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(802): View more from Vermont

clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.

Fav 7 1040 3006
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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?

Fav 7 4271 1077
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(248): View more from Michigan

There r osticjed everywhere

Fav 12 2032 1379
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy

Fav 8 2263 1440
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(303): View more from Colorado

Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.

Fav 10 3150 1615
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(913): View more from Kansas

Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass

Fav 0 26 22
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(813): View more from Florida

Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.

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