does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
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