My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
