You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
