Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Semen is not good for contacts.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We have so much sex to catch up on
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
