apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
