This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
