As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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