Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
