i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sext me about skeletons
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
