u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
