I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize