do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
