i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
