What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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