We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
