it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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