I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
