fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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