I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
There are leaves in my underwear?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
