the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
