i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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