I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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