You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
