I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
