she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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