after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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