Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
