smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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