you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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