I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
