I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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