Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize