just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
