My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize