just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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