I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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