I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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