I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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