I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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