i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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