I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
