honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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