so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize