I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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