She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
