Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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