i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
