Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
