if i died would you start the facebook group?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
tell me about the fingering
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